The Card – Volume XLI

by | Jun 4, 2024 | The Card

18 observations, thoughts and predictions for the week in golf…

 

  1. Yuka Saso’s win at the U.S. Women’s Open makes her first two wins in the championship historic in several ways.  First, she joins the following list of players from outside the United States to win multiple U.S. Opens, Annika Sorenstam, Karrie Webb, and Inbee Park.  Secondly, Saso is now the youngest two-time winner in the U.S. Women’s Open history.  Finally, she is the third player all-time to make both of her first two career LPGA wins majors, joining Se Ri Pak and In Gee Chun. It’s an amazing badge to conquer the toughest test more than once.  
  1. The 2024 U.S. Women’s Open is the first professional major championship in either women’s or men’s golf history where players representing Japan finished 1-2.
  1. Lancaster Country Club is a neat and special place.  It also was set up to push the best players to the limits physically and mentally.  The USGA has shown a willingness to walk that line recently with the Walker Cup at Seminole, the last couple U.S. Amateurs and the biggest and most important question is how edgy will Pinehurst #2 be for the men’s U.S. Open?  The men carry a loud voice and have pounced on the USGA for the last decade, sometimes with merit.  I’ll say what I say every year about the second oldest major in the game.  Be who we expect you to be and be accountable as well.  If you achieve both whether it matters to the organization or not the public will be on your side.  Be the U.S. Open of Joe Dey and P.J. Boatwright.  To paraphrase John Houseman, set up the U.S. Open the old-fashioned way, make them earn it.
  1. I was trying to conjure up a comparison for the circumstance surrounding Nelly Korda recording a 10 on her 3rd hole of the U.S. Women’s Open and I kept coming back to two situations for highly anticipated events and the individuals involved although both were gone from the event when they were both injured as soon as the events began.  Zion Williamson in his lone game for Duke at Cameron Indoor Stadium against North Carolina in February of 2019 and Aaron Rodgers in his debut for the Jets last season in the first series of the game rupturing his Achilles.  Nelly trudged on but her chances of contending in the next major after her torrid first five months of the season including winning the first major of the year were shot.  It was deflating and disorienting for everyone on the ground at Lancaster CC and the event went on to a dramatic conclusion not unlike those two games.  Nelly created the buzz, and the event effectively overcame her absence on the weekend with the course starring as you hope it will in a USGA Championship.
  1. Lexi Thompson’s retirement announcement, while surprising is not altogether stunning.  Since she became a public figure at age 12, turned pro at 15, won on the LPGA when she was 16 and won her lone major championship at 19, her retiring at 29 may seem early biologically but her breath of time competing and the role she was cast into, didn’t ask for contributed to why now is the right time for her.  The job itself is challenging in many ways, and the layer of being the unofficial face of women’s golf in the United States never felt like an easy fit.  It’s not supposed to be and while commercial appeal is lucrative, the ancillary responsibilities of being a big star appeared to be burdensome. Her lone major win at the old Kraft Nabisco in 2014 appeared to usher in her era especially the way she overpowered the golf course compared to her closest pursuer, Michelle Wei.  Lexi’s seconds in three of the other women’s majors were excruciating and the 2022 U.S. Women’s Open will be celebrated for Yuka Saso’s breakthrough at Olympic Club but the five shot lead enjoyed by Lexi with just over nine holes to go was a historic gutting. Lexi is a huge star and her appeal to cherry pick events going forward seems like the likely course.  Being the public face, playing with flair, and winning 11 times on the LPGA with a major is a fantastic career.
  1. I thought smoking cigarettes was the most unattractive thing anyone could do in 2024 and then Charley Hull flipped the script.  Hull has always been captivating beginning with her drubbing of Paula Creamer in Solheim Cup singles 5 and 4 in 2013 and then subsequently asking Creamer for an autograph.  She has pizazz and plays with bravado but when she turned up this past week feverishly puffing on a heater while giving autographs something very weird happened.  Instead of being reviled by the act, which many Americans are, she became a viral social media phenomenon.  Including an overzealous and likely too confident fan throwing her his phone number mid round suggesting dinner was in the offing.  Hull explained that the cigarette kick is in attempt to curb another habit, vaping.  Whatever the reason, Hull is now likely more well known outside the nerdy golf bubble for of all things, dragging on a dart.
  1. Robert MacIntyre has always appeared to be a delightful guy and his Scottish roots makes him even more appealing in the golf community because we associate the true origins of the game to the magical kingdom of Scotland.  His recent comments about the inherent challenges of being away from his homeland competing primarily on the PGA Tour in America revealed an additional layer to not only MacIntyre, but the vocation in general.  Add the layer this past week of putting his dad on the bag and you had a script you could sell.  Winning the RBC Canadian Open was icing until you heard his interview with Amanda Balionis of CBS.  The father and son grappling for words while fending off the tears was the kicker.  Being real is endearing and Robert MacIntyre has zero veneer, and a Scottish accent just needs to be heard more at the top levels of the game.
  1. Rory McIlroy came off the drama of returning to Valhalla for the first time since his last major win in 2014 and fresh on the heels of the disclosure of him filing for divorce to finish in a tie for 4th at the Canadian Open.  Rory doesn’t play any “road” games, but Canada and the Canadian fans have carved out a unique relationship with Rory.  The event rotates courses, but McIlroy has been loyal to the event since winning it for the first time in 2019 and the fans treat him like he scored a Cup-winning goal for the Maple Leafs.  Oddly, Rory doesn’t have a pristine record at Muirfield Village where he plays every year and will lead into next week’s U.S. Open.  Rory finished T23 at Pinehurst in 2014 where he followed that finish by winning the next two majors which were his last two major victories.  The width of #2 will play well into Rory’s desire to lean on his driver but his improvement around the greens will factor in his ability to contend for his 5th major in the sand hills of North Carolina.
  1. Mackenzie Hughes touched the lead on Sunday in his home country of Canada and he received a consolation prize for his tie for 7th with one of the qualifying spots in the forthcoming Open Championship at Troon in July.  Hughes needs the major starts to audition as much as possible for International team captain Mike Weir for the Presidents Cup back in Canada in September.  Ben Griffin and Maverick McNealy also secured their spots as well in the Open Championship with their 2nd and T7th finishes respectively.
  1. Kaito Onishi won the Korn Ferry tour event in North Carolina.  Ryan French from the Monday Q Info twitter handle provided context about how perilous Kaito’s position on the Korn Ferry Tour was at the end of last year.  His final round 68 in the last event of the season moved him from 107th to 100th in points.  Just having some conditional status got him into a few events and with solid results he became fully exempt after the reshuffle.  Now with a win he has a solid shot at a PGA Tour card.  One stroke, in the last round of the last event changed many things for the immediate future of Kaito Onishi.  The slimmest of margins can separate so many from so much. 
  1. This week is a Signature event on the PGA Tour but long before that distinction was created by the tour, the Memorial has truly been the signature event on the PGA Tour.  Natural amphitheaters created on the land at Muirfield village included around the closing hole, the finest conditioned golf course and player services decades ahead of the competition made Memorial the platinum standard for all events to strive to be, and then there’s Jack.  Jack’s presence is palpable, his inclusion on the network TV broadcast in his 80’s and his positioning near the 18th green for the closing groups is precious stuff.  I’ve never taken Jack’s handshake with the winner for granted, like Arnold Palmer’s at Bay Hill and Byron Nelson’s as well.  Jack’s ability to express his views on the issues and challenges in the game with the media, pre-tournament, remains a must watch.  It’s Jack’s week, a special week.
  1. LIV golf hasn’t conducted an event in a month.  The league returns this week in Houston and while Bryson DeChambeau was a star at the PGA Championship, the elongated period without events challenges the ability to build momentum.  The winner this week on Sunday will in some measure be swallowed up by U.S. Open week which begins the following day.  The luxury of weeks off at a time was appealing to many players but being dark for a month when golf is top of mind is simply counter intuitive.
  1. Steph Curry is on the cover this month of Golf Digest and a large portion of the profile centers on his vision to expand opportunities for minorities in junior golf through his Underrated Tour.  I’ve shared formerly that I have been lucky to be involved with the tour on the administrative and tournament staff side from the outset two years ago.  Season three kicked off with the tour’s first event in Europe at Walton Heath in England.  The field was made up of kids from Europe with the exception of six kids from the U.S. who were brought over based on their performance last year.  Not surprisingly the kids from Europe had an experience of a lifetime competing at a storied venue and having their parents with them without incurring the burden of any costs associated with travel, hotel, food and swag.  Steph is jet fuel for a tour garnering elite corporate sponsorship and with the presence of global soccer star Gareth Bale for both tournament days on the first tee and being a part of the trophy celebration amplified the experience to another level.  The boy and girl winner earned a trip to the Curry Cup in September at historic Ridgewood Country Club and the fact that neither one of them has ever been to the United States is another example of how the game and the Underrated Tour can change the trajectory of young lives.
  1. A week in England was good for the soul in part because of the cultural acceptance of dogs everywhere.  They are fortifying and to see dogs across the landscapes of several of the great golf clubs in England just reinforced what I’ve always thought we were missing in the States.  Dogs.  From Bandon to Bethpage and every Chicago Golf Club and Prairie Dunes in between can you imagine how wonderful it would be to see every breed at your club?  Dogs, they make everything better.
  1. I played the Old Course at Sunningdale this past Saturday and it stood up to its reputation.  It’s an enchanted forest of superior golf holes and the clubhouse is as stately and warm as any I’ve had the pleasure of inhabiting.  The paint on the walls is endless and the fact that Harry Colt was the club’s first captain is perfect.  It is undoubtedly one of the finest 36-hole facilities in the world.  It was nice additive to have three-time Open Champion from England Sir Nick Faldo in the group in front of us with his wife and son.  As proper a weekend round of golf as you could have in the Commonwealth.  
  1. Auburn claimed their first national title for the men this past week by defeating Florida State 3-2 in match play.  The Tigers enjoyed a remarkable 10-win season, and they have a superstar in Jackson Koivun.  Koivun went 3-0 in match play and polished off a historic freshman year.  A head beyond his years, Jackson is poised to enjoy very good income through NIL and it will interesting to see how many years of college golf he has in front of him.  
  1. Among the many introspective and thoughtful reflections I heard from players regarding the death of Grayson Murray it was Shane Lowry who got to the heart of so many things.  Shane has never strayed far from where he’s from and in explaining that he has experienced the deaths of several lifelong friends to suicide he captured the essence of all of it.  It’s precious, never lose sight of that. 
  1. Lastly, I’m humbled beyond appropriate words regarding the thoughts I expressed on Grayson’s death.  I am particularly grateful to those in the recovery community who reached out to share their own journeys.  I promise those truths and those shared experiences help me every day in my own journey of recovery.  It doesn’t matter whether you live with addiction, anxiety and depression, we all have our stuff.  Lean on each other, listen to each other, and be kind to yourself.  

Just For Today

by | May 27, 2024 | Blog

Cunning, baffling, powerful.  I heard those three words for the first time in a treatment facility where I was an inpatient being cared for and counseled for the disease of alcoholism.  Those words are not simply part of the lexicon of anyone in recovery, they are the cold facts about the disease that can be treated but not cured.  Grayson Murray knew those words and I believe he had a true understanding of what those words will always signify for anyone in recovery.  That while we all want the daily reprieve from our condition, it never offers a guarantee beyond today.  Because the most sinister word associated with the disease of addiction and alcoholism beyond cunning, baffling, and powerful is the word patient.  The disease has one objective, and only one, it wants your life.  

It waits and while progress is the objective, and there is no doubt in my heart and mind that Grayson was making progress, that we all are a day away from being a little more vulnerable and that progress is suddenly in peril.  Promotions, engagements, success, material achievement can all be nice, but it will never override or replace the demons that reside in the mind of anyone with mental illness associated with depression and alcoholism.  Grayson lived with what anyone in recovery lives with and that is the stark truth that our daily reprieve from our disease is just for today.

Most alcoholics think they are terminally unique.  I most certainly believed that no one else thought the way I did.  Consumed in every waking moment by knowing I couldn’t go a day without it, making sure I always had enough and going to lengths so insane to be fortified with my master by my side or nearby that I put everything that I valued in jeopardy.  Everything.  Career, family, friends, LIFE.  The thought of living without the thing that helped me escape reality was so daunting I developed anxiety and depression.  It’s also not complicated that those things are a byproduct of alcoholism since treating depression with a depressant is not a complicated equation to see the result.  I have no answers, but like every alcoholic I have my story and my story shared with others in recovery have helped me achieve peace and purpose, but just for today.

I met Grayson when he was 17 years old, and he was a superior talent.  Because of his personal relationship with very close friends of mine I paid attention to his path, and it was a turbulent one.  From afar he exhibited the behavior of someone I recognized, myself.  Restless, irritable and discontented are how most alcoholics go through their days.  Grayson, like anyone pursuing something like elite professional golf, are susceptible to ebbs in their behavior but his pattern was more acute, and it was just that, a pattern.  Despite his growing challenges to manage and control his drinking and thinking, Grayson saw success.  It really speaks to the extraordinary innate ability he had to play the game of golf to win golf tournaments while managing something that doesn’t stall out.  Alcoholism is progressive and although each of us may have functioned to varying degrees the inevitability of it winning in its pursuit of destruction is simply what happens unless one decides they can’t take it anymore.  The number of paradoxes associated with the disease are endless but the introduction to the first one is simple, to win you must admit complete defeat.  Win starts with survival but with a daily commitment to treating your condition, peace and joy are attainable.

Grayson’s decision to seek treatment was a start and there is nothing more therapeutic for the mind of a person in the depths of addiction than to unplug, sleep, leave the outside world behind and begin to heal your heart and mind under professional supervision.  Re-entry into what was left behind can be disorienting but Grayson’s performance was not accidental.  More importantly, his willingness to share his journey and his vulnerabilities was reflective of another paradox about the disease.  To keep your own recovery, you must give it away.  Giving away your truths, your fears and talking about your journey, whether publicly or privately within the recovery community, helps you while helping others.  Remember, we don’t have answers, but we have our story, and the identification of behaviors, thoughts and feelings gives those who thought they were the only ones who thought similarly the hope we all thought was gone.  Grayson’s performance at the Sony Open made me cry, not because of how he won but because of how he expressed himself when it was over.  Gratitude.  Led with it and it was permeating through the eyes of a young man who looked into the abyss and turned away from it.  Immediately I reached out to him to tell him how happy I was for him, not just because he won but because he had found a faith in himself and he didn’t look, for the first time in forever, restless, irritable, and discounted.  Peace is something I can’t adequately explain.  Free of guilt, shame and years of deceit is so liberating that you wake up saying out loud, “I didn’t lie to anyone yesterday”. 

Grayson joined me on my 5 Clubs podcast ten days after his win at the Sony Open and I asked him in advance if he was comfortable having a truthful conversation with a fellow alcoholic and he said, “Let’s do it Gary, we are in this together”.  His emotion and gratitude have stayed with me far more than the reflections on how he won again on tour.  It is haunting to hear him express how his dad had lost his best friend to the disease and how he feared for so long about his parents getting the most dreaded call parents could ever receive about a child.  He expressed purpose and grace on that day.  He was not being dishonest and that is a realization in the recovery community that we focus on today, control what we can, accept what we can’t and express love and tolerance.  Undeniably, Grayson was doing that, and he was making progress.

I hugged him in the parking lot at Augusta National on Tuesday of Masters week.  He was clear eyed, but he displayed a vulnerability that was simply different.  It was not a warning but simply reflective of being present and not truculent and numb.  A month later, I hugged him again in the parking lot at Quail Hollow, the week he had his mom with him for the Wells Fargo Championship where he finished tied for 10th and we greeted each other the way many people in recovery do with not a nonchalant “How are you?” but “Really don’t bullshit me, how are you?” The following week we greeted each other again outside the clubhouse at Valhalla with our customary hug and hold and the look into each other’s eyes.  There is a telepathy amongst most people in recovery and it’s not complicated while the disease is full of complexities.  It’s simple, I’m here, whenever and wherever.  My hand and my heart will always be there if you need it.  

I always go through scores on leaderboards and look for certain players and Grayson has been one for the time well before he got sober.  I saw on Friday that he WD’d and thought nothing of it.  On Saturday I was doing an interview with Danielle Tucker, at 1 PM eastern time, from Hawaii when my phone starting ringing repeatedly and I was receiving a blizzard of texts messages.  I finished the interview and called Taylor Zarzour who oversees the PGA Tour radio network for SiriusXM.  He told me of Grayson’s death with the compassion of a dear friend, which he is, and told me they were likely to halt play at Colonial once all the family was notified and the programming for the channel would change for the day.  The news didn’t shock me the way the news of any sudden death would which is what makes me so sad.  It’s not that I had any inclination that Grayson was in a very vulnerable and desperate place, it’s that these tragic stories are what the community of addiction and depression are conditioned to experience.  I got very close to a gentleman in treatment in his 60’s who ran an investment firm and he was from an affluent family and his academic and professional career were bold type and he was also addicted to methamphetamine.  Upon leaving treatment he entered a sober living house in South Florida and would send me pictures of his new clean life.  He was excited to return to work, to his passions, which were many and to having long conversations with me about life and family which we did every day while trying to find our equilibrium in rehab.  Seven months later he was dead.  

I’m shredded to think about where Grayson’s mind was in the hours leading up to his death.  It scares me.  It makes me cry.  It makes me wonder what it would feel like to contemplate taking your own life and that immediately makes my heart race and I feel sick.  I’m haunted by the look in his eyes when I saw him the last three times we hugged.  There was a tenderness to him that belied his behavior for the years he was battling so hard and losing to the disease.  Giving up gave him hope and purpose but it revealed something more profound.  His journey was weighty, and the disease just waits, exercising the most unredeemable display of patience.  Grayson’s death will not keep me or anyone else in recovery sober but his willingness to bare his soul in the last year gave comfort and inspiration to others whether they were fighting their own battles with addiction and mental illness or not.  Alcoholics share their truths with each other every day and one additional paradox about the disease is that feeling good because you’re being vigilant about treating your disease can scare an alcoholic into thinking “I’ve got this”.  So, at your best you may be most susceptible.  I thought I had a drinking problem until I found out it was merely a symptom.  I have a thinking problem.  

I pray that the introspection and reflection displayed by so many in the golf community in the aftermath of Grayson’s death will sustain itself.  I know tragedy is temporary as life continues and its challenges harden us all.  I dreamed of being a broadcaster and being able to witness the greatest athletic feats not of being an alcoholic.  But I’m so grateful that I’m a recovering alcoholic because without my ability to simply raise my hand and say I can’t do this anymore, God please help me, I would be dead.  Grayson Murray fought to find the light and his fight was arduous but admirable.  Let us all remember, it’s just for today.